I failed and that is ok

I am finishing up my masters in chemistry but have decided not to future pursue my dream of getting a PhD. I failed, as hard as I have tried I have failed. You may think I am very upset by this fact and believe me when I tell you I was for a while. But then I realized this experience was not all for nothing and while I have failed here I have accomplished much more than my child self could even imagine. However, before I tell you what I have learned from graduate school you must first know a little about my past.

In second grade I got diagnosed with a learning disability. In 5th grade I could barely read Mary Had a Little Lamb and the only thing I was decent at was math and even that I was only average in. But I worked hard and had an amazing family that supported me both in school and in life. My mother taught me how to face my fears and to never let new experiences pass you by. My father taught me how to be a loving father, something I greatly aspire to be one day. And finally my older sisters taught me the meaning of hard work and standing up for what you believe in.

I saw the other kids with learning disabilities and I decided at a young age that I did not want to end up a statistic but instead work my ass off in order to catch up to my pears. And that was my mindset. From the time I was 7 until I graduated college at the age of 23 I only focused on working as hard as I could on my education.

But when I turned 25, now in graduate school at UCLA, my goals started to refocus. I realized what I have been chasing I have already obtained and what I was working towards now was a higher statues in the world. I wanted to prove to myself that I was no longer that 7-year-old kid with a learning disability and the only way I knew how to do that was to get my PhD. But the fact is I will always be that little kid with a learning disability and I now realize that is quite possibly my greatest attribute. Because of my struggles I have learned what it means to work hard. Because I was bad at memorization I had to really learn all the material in order to make it stick in my head. To compensate for the lack of memorization skills my critical thinking ability greatly improved as well. Yes I was self-conscious for many years about my learning disability but now it serves to humble me and remind myself of what I am grateful for.

At the same time I was discovering my true motivations I was also discovering what was truly important to me. I realized I did not want to be a cutting edge researcher anymore. I wanted to have a normal job so that I would have time to become an amazing father like my father was to me. I realized I didn’t want to make my career my life because I wanted time to do other things like maintain contact with my current family, start my own family, write, and learn more about myself. I learned that I love to teach and I can pursue that passion working as a community college professor with my masters.

So I failed. I will never get my PhD. But with that failure comes more opportunities to do what I love with the people I love spending time with the most. I have heard that failure can be a great learning experience but it was not until I experienced great failure that I can truly accept those words. Thank you University of California, Los Angeles for all you have given me. I will not forget you.

Thanks for reading and let me know your views on failure. If you enjoyed reading don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe to my blog!  To subscribe just enter your email into the box on the upper right. I post every Sunday at 8 AM pacific standard time!

Cheers,

Letters to Help

Why dating is hard for both men and women

It seems these days’ men and women are having a difficult time finding the right person. In this blog. I will breakdown the reasons why this is and what we can do to fix this.

First and foremost, women are the ones with the power in the relationship; at least in the beginning. They choose who they will and will not date based on many factors. This is an evolutionary outcome and is seen in almost all species including our own. This is because women have a limited number of eggs available to produce offspring unlike men who can have virtually an unlimited number of offspring, example Genghis Khan. Additionally, it is women who will be the ones with the 9 month pregnancy and with the rise of sexually transmitted diseases it is women who are more at risk.

This all results in a more selective female and thus women will choose men based on strict criteria. According of OK cupid 80% of men on OK cupid are seen as unattractive in the female mind. These means that 80% of men will have a very hard time finding anyone to date them let alone marry. This also results in the upper 20% of men becoming a rare commodity in the eyes of women thus allowing these men to be more selective. On average, more selective men (men with more options) are less likely to settle down and instead play the field. Yes, there are exceptions but this is how most men will operate. This leaves many women without a stable partner and 80% of men without a partner at all. With the rise of technology, this will only make women more selective as dating apps make it easier to pick and choose. This can lead to a smaller proportion of men being datable and thus datable men having an even bigger insensitive to date around due to their higher and higher demand.

This trend does not have to be the end all be all however. While it goes against evolutionary thinking of most women, they need to stop having so many things on their list. Educated, steady job, good pay, tall, attractive, funny, and social; all of these things are a prerequisite in many women’s minds. It’s not so much how picky you are with a particular attributes that is causing this problem, it is more the number of things you are looking for. Having standards is good but knowing the standards that are most important to you is just as important. For example, many women insist on an educated man but most college graduates now are women. This discrepancy will leave millions of men and women without a partner. In general, men want one maybe two things in a partner. One example they may desire in a female is to be mildly attractive and kind. However, men also need to change. The upper 20% of men with many options, need to be able to recognize a good women when they see one and hold on to her even though there may be others available. Finally, the 80% of unattractive men can do a lot to change their situation. Women find a lot of things attractive in a man, many of which are stills or attributes that you can acquire. For example, becoming educated or having a steady job is very attractive in many women’s eyes.

Thanks for reading and let me know your views on dating. If you enjoyed reading don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe to my blog!  To subscribe just enter your email into the box on the upper right. I post every Sunday at 8 AM pacific standard time!

Cheers,

Letters to Help

Propaganda vs. net neutrality: Rethinking about how I take in information. YouTube, advertising, social media, and T.V

Is propaganda evil? Some people can’t handle the truth. Some people like this feeling of ignorance because ignorance makes sense. Ignorance makes clear good guys and bad guys and for some people it is a much better world then the scary, chaotic, world we really live in. Let other people who want to think about that awful stuff deal with it. I’ll be a good puppet.

It’s why women won’t admit it but somewhere inside at some part of your life you wished you could have lived the simple life of a house wife. Sure it is boring but if you picked the right man to lead you it would be a safe, reliable…home. Yes women have more rights but they also have more responsibilities. They now are expected to take on the burden of thinking for the group. Well let’s hope they feel that way because there are those people who want to want to make a difference and the people who like power for power’s sake. Power monsters are people masquerading as your ally but really are only looking out for their own and will exclude anyone else they deem. “Other”.

Let me explain about identification of any one ideology is not inherently evil but when you define yourself my one sole identifier your making and handing over your own puppet stings to someone else. There is not one person who fully and completely represents an ideology. Each of us are first and foremost are ourselves. 

Propaganda isn’t the root of all evil, ego is the real enemy. We have not evolved our brain enough to comprehend every person we meet as an individual so in order try to understand are complex environment we group people by size, sex, age, religion, nationality. We start identifying with some of these groups and thus traditions are passed on while others excluded. We can not yet fully think of each and every one of us as human. But I believe that day will come. It will be the day that we truly accept one another, lay down our arms, and embrace one another. In fact I think that day will come sooner than expected in large part for the same reason you can read these words.

The Internet will set us free if we let it which is why out of all the horrific and life altering events of our time, net neutrality is the single most important issue of our time. The voice of the many can become the voice of one if we can talk to each other. In the past physical distances bred disconnection from one another but now we can finally embrace. I will embrace you bothers and sisters, I only hope you will do return the embrace. Stop being lead by fear. Hope feels so much better and is a much more powerful motivator. Happy new year everyone.

Thanks for reading and let me know your views on propaganda vs. net neutrality. If you enjoyed reading don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe to my blog!  To subscribe just enter your email into the box on the upper right. I post every Sunday at 8 AM pacific standard time!

Cheers,

Letters to Help

Why political parties need to be critical of themselves

This is a message to both Democrats and Republicans. Both parties share in these faults but generally can only see the faults from the other side. Both sides need to realize that there views are being shaped by extremists. A rational person will understand that nothing is as black and white as the parties want you to believe. Here I will outline what some of the ways political parties control you and give solutions to combating their propaganda.

1. Politicians are not people 

We have to remember that a politicians job in today’s society is not to have opinions of their own but options which are popular to their political ideology. However, we can not blame the politicians for this mentality. We are the ones who elect these people to be representatives for us. The most popular politicians are therefore the representatives who embody the most popular viewpoints of a group. When a politician votes he votes in order to please as many of his constituents as possible so to increase his chances of being re-elected. The politicians who fails to deliver their constituents wishes and instead follows his own moral code will be removed from the political system by the people. In this way politicians are only as human to us as a vote on paper is. We must stop viewing our politicians as individuals and instead see them as ideas. Whichever politician embodies your views the best should get your vote. Do not let your personal options of the man or women obscure your judgment. Both parties deploy smear campaigns so to avoid their influences we must be ever vigilant of these distractions.

2. We need to start being accepting of others options

Both sides like to think the other side is stupid or ignorant but maybe both sides could learn a thing or two from each other. Maybe misinformation in both political parties divides us so far away from one another that we can no longer consider the other side on any topic.

3. We need to be OK with being wrong sometimes 

You see this most strikingly in debates. Politicians refuse to admit they are wrong until all the evidence is stacked agent them and still some refuse to admit their mistakes. We must reward honesty to avoid creating the robotic Politicians of today.

4. Ideas can be a form of control 

Both parties spread propaganda in order for you to continue to believe in their ideology. This is not a one party problem. Both groups have some startling misconceptions that propagate throughout the party because it helps solidify their views.

5. Free thinking is obscured by political party mindsets

The us vs them mentality has been around since the dawn of man and it is one of our most important flaws to be aware of. This mentality only leads to war and death. The us vs them mentality is fueled by hate. Make sure your options are really based in reality and fact and not by blind rage. This brings me to my next point.

6. Hate can be a form of control 

When we are angry our reason dissipates. We again become sheep for the shepherd. We must be able to recognize when we are being driven by hate and remember to be always critical of both sides of any story. Political parties isolate us from that other side.

7. T.V media is not helping 

Whether you like it or not T.V can be a form of brain control. Many people like to turn off their brain and just watch some T.V. While this type of mentality is normal it does not mean it is good for us. In these states we become susceptible to outside influences. Without critical thinking we are only sheep and the shepherds do not always have our best interests at heart. Always be critical of any information and try not to connect your identity to any one mindset.

The solution: Start listening to the other side with an open mind 

Both sides love to find the stupid people on the opposing side and make them out to be the leader of the group. Yes both sides have useless individuals but both sides also have really informative people too. Unfortunately on both sides it seems that the stupid ones are always the loudest. With an open mind start watching videos that you would have never clicked on before. Start questioning everything. There is no right or wrong, good or evil. There is only truth and lies. Which one are you listening too?

Thanks for reading and let me know your views on political parties. If you enjoyed reading don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe to my blog!  To subscribe just enter your email into the box on the upper right. I post every Sunday at 8 AM pacific standard time!

Cheers,

Letters to Help

The goal setter vs the monk: when to work on fixing something in your life and when to know to let go

There are advantages and disadvantages to both lifestyles. Here I will talk about the pros and cons of both forms of living and talk about when to apply which method. Enjoy!

 

Pros of a Driven goal setting mindset

1.Feeling accomplished

There are few things that feel as good as making a goal, setting out to accomplish that goal, and succeeding. By constantly accomplishing goals you not only improve your own life you hopefully can help advance society in some small way.

2.Being able to support yourself and your family

The monk mentality may seem nice in theory but if you have a family to look after you need to pay the bills. Unfortunately, in order to live many of us need to give up our time. The goal driven process can greatly help with this. If your goal is to support your family you may have to work multiple jobs but after it’s all said and done you love your family and you love being that provider for them.

3.Finding your passion 

Without goals you will never be able to find out what you really want to do. Without a passion you can feel like your drifting through life without any real direction. For a lot of people goals help make sense of the world and help give purpose to there life.

4.Health 

One’s health is an important part to happiness. Goals can help you avoid unhealthy habits and give you the motivation to pursue habits which are not immediately satisfying but will provide long term happiness.

5.Knowledge

If your goal involves as certain level of education on a topic it can give you the motivation to stay up all night in order to understand a topic. A goal setting mentality can give you very important critical thinking skills which you can apply to a wide verity of problems in your life.

6.Pride 

Finally after completing hundreds of goals though the years you can start to develop a sense of pride. Pride, unlike arrogance, is not an inflated view of oneself but a strong sense that what you are doing in life is making a difference.

Cons of a Driven goal setting mindset

1.Stress

To much stress is a very common problem in first world countries. Even though first world countries have less important things to stress about then the rest of the world we still tend to stress out way more. Goals can blind us to the bigger picture in life. Goals can narrow are focus so much that we can forget about what we already have. Even when a determined person has everything they may not be satisfied because they get all of there pleasure from the feeling of personal growth. If they don’t feel like they are growing they feel like they are dyeing. A 100% determined individual can never truly appreciate the things they have in life.

2.Disappointment 

Goal setting can feel amazing so long as the goal eventually gets accomplished. However, what happens when the goal you set never gets done? What if the goal you want to accomplish is impossible? Disappointment can be crippling and can leave some physically unable to even get out of bed in the morning. Failing one goal can lead to a cascade of negativity that can even affect the goals you could have achieved. Goal setting people have a hard time giving up. This is both there strength and also there demise. Learning to let go is an important part of life and determined people have a hard time with this.

Pros of the Monk lifestyle

1.Self-reflection

Meditation involves calming both your mind and your body. Stillness is one of our most difficult states to be in. Self-reflection brings new meaning to ones life and can be a better tool for determining ones path in life then only setting goals.

2.Peace 

A driven person might never find peace because they are too busy looking outward for happiness when happiness can only be found by looking within. Peace is a type of euphoria which most have to travel great distances to achieve. For example, standing a top a mountain or sitting beside a quietly running stream. If there lucky peace will only be experienced by ambitious individuals for about a week out of the year.

3.Wisdom 

With today’s world in a constant state of motion great insight into one’s own contentiousness can be achieved. It is this time of self reflection that you can start to connect bits of knowledge together in much more complex ways then before. A concept you learned in math class might suddenly make sense when trying to describe your anxiety. Wisdom comes with self reflection.

4.Being able to let go 

While the monk will grieve when his friend dies it will not cripple him. Instead of suppressing his sadness he will learn to embrace it. When faced with a unsolvable problem such a death the determined individual breaks down completely. There whole life has revolved about problems and solutions. For the ambitious, when something tragic happens the first instinct will be to try to fix it. The monk will know that some things, while tragic, can not be fixed. You can spend your nights wishing that they were still alive but all this will do is give you more pain. You must be able to let go of that pain while still remembering them in your heart. Free yourself from the constant heartache, and try to move on.

Cons of the Monk lifestyle

1.Lack of purpose 

People spend there whole lives chasing a ball they may never catch but it’s better to fail then not try at all.

2.Lack of amenities 

If you want anything in life you’re going to have to work for it. This requires hard work and determination, qualities which are hard to come by when you are perfectly content with nothing.

Which way is better? 

It depends. You must first acquire knowledge and through knowledge wisdom can blossom. Only then will you be able to determine the difference between fixable and unfixable problems. When faced with a fixable problem you need to put your determined goal setting mode on. Only then will you be able to remedy the issue. However, there are times in life where the problem you’re facing is no longer fixable. These problems are best handled by the monk. He will understand how to accept and let go of the pain. He will understand that being sad all the time will not fix the problem and that happiness is a choice. The hardest part for most people is being able to be both the monk and the goal setting monster. Practice, time, and wisdom will help.

Thanks for reading and let me know your thoughts on the goal setter vs. the monk. If you enjoyed reading don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe to my blog!  To subscribe just enter your email into the box on the upper right. I post every Sunday at 8 AM pacific standard time!

Cheers,

Letters to Help

Why swimming is the best form of exercise

Sunset 13There are many ways to stay in shape such as lifting weights, running, or biking but swimming beats all of these forms of exercise many times over. Here are some of the advantages swimming has over all other forms of exercise. Enjoy!

1. A type of meditation 

When I am in the water and trying to go as fast as I possibly can there is no room in my brain for negative thoughts. My attention is focused on moving my arms and my legs as fast and as smooth as a possibly can. I could have had a bad day and all I can think about is all the times I messed up but swimming helps to quite those thoughts and allows me to enjoy the moment.

2. Relaxation 

One of the best parts about swimming is that you can make it as hard or as easy as you want to. Sometimes all you want to do is jump into the water and feel the ocean breathing. If you think looking at the waves can be relaxing imagine swimming in them. Plus, the experience of swimming in the ocean during the day can be vastly different from swimming at night. In day swimming you can watch as the sun reflexes off the water to give the water a simmering effect. You can also dive deep under the water in a pool and watch as the light is reflected off the bottom of the pool in a seemingly random but beautiful way. During night swimming the only sounds you hear are that of the water gently flowing this way and that. With only the moon and the stairs to give you light you may feel scared at first but soon start to embrace the isolation. Out here the world seems so far away and the sky so bright.

3. Lifelong habit

Unlike other forms of exercise swimming puts almost zero pressure on your joints, ligaments, or bone structure. This means that your 80-year-old self can still enjoy a good dip even when back problems or other health issues might be affecting other areas of your life. In fact, swimming is so amazing it is often used to rehabilitate patients suffering from physical handicaps.

4. A break

After only a few minutes in the water you completely forgot about all the problems in your life. There is something about water that makes the mind enter into a new way of thinking. No longer are you worried about realistically small issues in your life. Here in the water you can be at peace.

5. Confidence 

Swimming is the best way to burn calories. Swimming burns more calories  per hour because unlike running or biking swimming uses your whole body. You get your whole body in shape through swimming, including your lungs. You will notice that after some time training at the pool you can breathe easier. These added physical benefits translate into mental benefits such as confidence.

6. A challenge 

Setting goals and accomplishing them can be one of the most rewarding experiences of anyone’s life. The best part about swimming is that you get to set your goals and you can adjust your goals depending on your mood, physical ability, or time to commit to the task. You are your own boss. You set the hours and you get the rewards.

Thanks for reading and let me know your thoughts on swimming. If you enjoyed reading don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe to my blog!  To subscribe just enter your email into the box on the upper right. I post every Sunday at 8 AM pacific standard time!

Cheers,

Letters to Help

Why it’s not the end of the world now that Donald Trump is president

Sunset 14So Trump became president. Whichever side your on I think we can all agree this a big deal. However, the fears many Americans are now feeling, while understandable, are an extreme view of what Trump can actually do. Here is why it’s not the end of the world now that Donald Trump is president

1. The president does not have as much power as you might think 

Yes Donald won the presidency but that does not mean he has full control over the country. He has to face up agent the senate and the house. While they are both republican like Trump they have the power to mitigate the majority of outrageous actions taken by the president.

2. In his own way Donald does care about the country 

While many of you may not be a fan of what comes out of Trumps mouth at least his actions will be because he believes it is what is best for the country. You may or may not believe Trump to be an idiot but at least he isn’t evil. The presidential race always shines a light on the worst parts of candidates. We at least know what Trump is (for better or worse) and can move forward.

3. During his acceptance speech he seemed unusually politically correct 

The scariest part for a lot of people is his interactions with foreign countries. He says what is on his mind with no filter whatsoever. This is what attracted people to him and what made him so hated. However, insulting a foreign diplomat or leader can have some serious repercussions. Luckily it seems Trump does have a filter and can use it. Hopefully podium trump will not be the same as foreign diplomat Trump.

4. Hillary is not a great choice either 

Let’s face it, both candidates were not that great and it’s not like the replacement for Donald is amazing. Hillary would have kept using the old broken political system. At least with Trump we have a glimmer of hope for some sort of reform.

5. Donald will have advisers 

If your worried about the intelligence of Donald you can breathe easy. No president thinks alone. While Donald does have the final say hopefully he can learn to listen to the advise from the people around him.

6. It’s only for 4 years or less if he does a really bad job 

Impeachment is still a thing in this country so if it does get catastrophically bad at least we can fall back to that. Trump now has power and if he wants to hold on to that power in a democratic society he will have to bend to the people’s will or risk impeachment.

7. Our international policy is not as doomed as you might think

Surprisingly the head of the Russian government Vladimir Putin actually likes Trump. Russia is the a major super power with a lot of nukes so having them like Trump is a big win. Sure he is heavily disfavored by our closest allies but those are not the people we have to worry about.

8. Donald has revealed a large divide in this country

About 50% of Democrats and over 50% of Republicans hate, are scared of, and frustrated by the other party. Trump has shown us just how far that hatred goes. Very few people in this world are evil. Sure people can act like jerks sometimes but a lot of that stems from feeling of inadequacy and pain. We need to stop looking at each other as the enemy.

9. We can learn from this 

We are all apart of this country and both sides wants what is best for the country. We need to start making more compromises and learn to accept each others political differences. Instead of defining yourself as a democrat or republican try thinking of yourself as an american first.

10. Donald has accidentally forced politicians to rethink their actions 

Hillary’s major flaw was that she was too political which make her seems fake to a lot of Americans. Donald Trump may be a lot of things but fake is not one of them. A lot of people were sick of Politicians because they lack their own opinions and moral character. Politicians flip-flop because it means more votes if you agree with the majority but I think a lot of Americans are sick of it. So sick of it that they would rather have Trump then another fake. There is hope that Trump wining will start changing the way politicians view there opinions and themselves.

Thanks for reading and let me know your thoughts on Donald Trump. If you enjoyed reading don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe to my blog!  To subscribe just enter your email into the box on the upper right. I post every Sunday at 8 AM pacific standard time!

Cheers,

Letters to Help

Top 10 reasons why America became so influential so quickly

Sunset 15Yes you can argue all day about Americas social policies and how americans are spoiled but what you can’t argue about is how influential (for better or worse) the United States has been in only the corse of a few hundred years. Here are 10 reasons why I think America has become such a large and powerful country in such a short amount of time.

1. Communication

If it wasnt for the inventions of the railroad and telephone it is very likely that the united states would have split into many independent states instead of one large country. Without constant communication inside the country the parts of the country would have started feeling isolated and independent from the rest of the country. It would have been like the US civil war but on a much bigger scale.

2. Vast farm land and right temperature

I combine these two into one because they really do go hand in hand. Ever wonder why most of the third world countries are along the equator? Well the reason is that it’s hot and the weather conditions are perfect for insects who destroy crops and kill livestock. The first thing a country needs in order to grow is food to sustain its growing population. America has this in spades. So much so that farmers are sometimes paid not to farm land so to keep food prices high enough to make a profit.

3. Resources

America has an abundance of natural resources which it can trade throughout the world.

4. Expansionist mindset 

Manifest destiny resulted in many americans to seek out new land in the dream of one day making the united states run from coast to coast. This mindset brought in vast acres of land and resources for the US.

5. Immigration 

There were millions of immigrants throughout america’s life time all searching for the american dream. Some of the best and the brightest scientists and inventors immigrated to america to try to find a better life.

6. Isolation 

America’s land stretches from cost to cost so the only boarders it shares are those from the north and the south. This is vastly different from the european cities where a small country could have multiple neighbors. This means less recourses needed protecting its borders and much less of a threat of invasion.

7. Freedom

Freedom leads to higher worker productivity which leads to larger and larger GDP. Yes today there are numerous places which I would consider just a free and the United States but in the past this was not the case for a large parts of the world.

8. Trade 

Not only did america have a lot of resources, they also were founded during a time where transportation across continents was starting to become feasible. So not only could you trade within the country but now the US could trade far outside its borders.

9. US industrialization 

Standard Oil Company, Ford Motor Company, and Carnegie Steel. These and many other companies were born during industrialization and help skyrocket the US onto the world stage.

10. Relatively low levels of corruption 

Corruption is like a leak in a government’s money bucket. The more corruption you have the more the money is being funneled away from public surfaces like roads and schools and more towards a small majority of rich influential individuals. Yes there is still a large amount of corruption in the US but nothing compared to third world counties like brazil.

Thanks for reading and let me know your thoughts on America. If you enjoyed reading don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe to my blog!  To subscribe just enter your email into the box on the upper right. I post every Sunday at 8 AM pacific standard time!

Cheers,

Letters to Help

MGTOW

Sunset 16Men going their own way (MGTOW). These are men who have given up on trying to find that special women. This blog will mostly be about how the MGTOW movement is just as extreme as the feminist movement. Both of these movements try to simplify the opposite sex and make each other out to be evil.

1. MGTOW is made up of men who have been burned to many times by women

Before I begin let me first say that I can understand some of what MGTOW is saying. I have been fortunate enough to have only dated truly wonderful people. Yes, I have been badly hurt by women before but I can’t even imagine what it would be like to be hurt by someone who you spent decades with. I do not hate MGTOW, if anything I feel sorry for them. They have been burned so much that they are willing to give up their desire for sex. I can only imagine the level of pain one must have to go though in order to consider MGTOW a possibility. I also respect them. Most men have such a strong sex drive that forgetting women would have to take a lot of self-control.

2. Finding yourself should come first before meeting any women

One thing that I think MGTOW does really well is emphasize that fact that your own personal growth should come first before trying to find anyone else. You should not look for women to make you feel whole. You should be your own man and be able to be happy without women. Only when you can do these things should you search for someone. Women not there to fix you. Your partner should help you become a better person. They should be a catalyst for your growth, not your life support.

3. Look inward at who your attracted to

The people I have talked to who declares themselves MGTOW have been burned to many times by women. However, I have found that a majority of these men have a horrible time looking beyond a women’s beauty and seeing who they really are. If your attracted to beautiful demons of course your only going to keep getting your heart-broken. At some point you need to take some responsibility for your relationship decisions and learn to do better.

4. MGTOW is not a viable solution for a lot of men 

Men were not born with a womb so if you ever want children you’ll have to get with a women. There are other options but unless your extremely well off these options are to far out of most men’s financial reach.

5. Will you really be happy when your 80 years old and alone?

Sure being single may seem fun when your young but do you really want to grow old alone? Women can take everything from you but they can also give you everything.

6. Not all women are evil

Just like feminism tries to demonize men MGTOW tries to demonize women. Both of these groups are extremists groups. In a perfect world men would simply go their own way without any negative or positive emotions towards women. Unfortunately, what makes most men go MGTOW is the constant disappointment they have experienced with women. It is hard to feel nothing but hate after something like that but it is important not to lump people into groups. Grouping individuals is a way for the mind to simplify things so to better understand them but it also causes the brain to look over exceptions to the programmed stereotypes. Yes there are some really nasty women but there are also some wonderful ones too. Instead of giving up on all women why not try to get better at picking out the good ones from the trash?

Thanks for reading and let me know your thoughts on MGTOW. If you enjoyed reading don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe to my blog!  To subscribe just enter your email into the box on the upper right. I post every Sunday at 8 AM pacific standard time!

Cheers,

Letters to Help

Controlling the cycles in our lives

Sunset 16Each of us has a series of patterns and habits that strongly influence our actions. These patterns are too often cyclical. One minute your following all the right habits and doing all the right things and the next you feel like nothing you do is right. Everyone goes through these events in our lives. They may be triggered by a death in the family or maybe even to birth of a family member. Either way, just because an event is negative does not mean it has to lead to you falling off the horse. It does not matter if that horse be exercising regularly, eating right, or more serious issues such as depression or a drug addiction. The point is we too often let events outside our control dictate the things we are in control over. If you get anything out of this post I hope you can begin to forgive yourself for all the times you were not as strong enough and try to draw strength from all the times you were. Here are a few tips on how to ride the roller coaster we call life.

1. Focus on the things that our in your control 

There are many things in this world that will try to bring us down if we let it. However, there are many more things that can lift us up so long as we are willing to look in the right places. When times are hard it can seem like your life is spiraling but that free fall does not have to end with you on the pavement. Ground yourself by trying to figure out what you can and can not change.

2. Figure out your triggers 

There are some people, habits, or even places that naturally lead us down somewhere we know we should not go. Figure out those things and stay as far away as possible from them. Find the things that trigger long-term happiness over short-term ones. Exercise for example can be grueling and even painful at times but will lead to increased happiness in the long run.

3. Self reflection can be the key

Exercise my not be your thing. That’s ok, you need to find what works for you. This means trying a bunch of stuff and seeing what works and what doesn’t. For example, some people find meditation can bring peace of mind but with others just boredom. Don’t let you ego get in the way of trying something new no matter how weird it may seem to you at the time.

4. Try to remember what got out of the last hard time in your life 

If it isn’t broken don’t fix it. Try to remember what worked for you in the past. This is one of the reasons your 20’s are the best and worst times of your life. You have no experience to fall back on when times are hard. This is one reason why the next tip is so important.

5. Try to find someone you can depend on 

Don’t tell me there is no one in your life because if that is the case you only have yourself to thank for that. Support groups are everywhere and there are even online hangout events now. I know it can be scary meeting new people but if you ever want to grow you will need good people beside you. That being said, having no friends is better than having the wrong friends. Putting your faith in the wrong people can be devastating so make sure to take a hard look at the people you call friends. Remember, one truly loyal and kind friend in your life is better than 1000 acquaintances.

6. Find something you believe in 

It doesn’t matter what god you believe in or if you even believe in a god but you must believe in something. If you’re a religious person this point might be obvious be I think too often atheists think believe is a weaker version of truth. Yes belief is letting go of facts but it does not make it any less important than truth. For example, belief that your 15-year-old (who is currently acting out) can still become a great man or women one day. The past events point to a life of delinquency but the parent knows better. You continue to love your son or daughter because you believe that one day they can be better. In reality they still might become nothing but by continuing to believe in your children you will give them the chance to turn their life around. As a parent that is all we can do for our children. If you give up on them they will surly give up on themselves.

Thanks for reading and let me know your common life cycles and how you overcome them. If you enjoyed reading don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe to my blog!  To subscribe just enter your email into the box on the upper right. I post every Sunday at 8 AM pacific standard time!

Cheers,

Letters to Help