Why dating is hard for both men and women

It seems these days’ men and women are having a difficult time finding the right person. In this blog. I will breakdown the reasons why this is and what we can do to fix this.

First and foremost, women are the ones with the power in the relationship; at least in the beginning. They choose who they will and will not date based on many factors. This is an evolutionary outcome and is seen in almost all species including our own. This is because women have a limited number of eggs available to produce offspring unlike men who can have virtually an unlimited number of offspring, example Genghis Khan. Additionally, it is women who will be the ones with the 9 month pregnancy and with the rise of sexually transmitted diseases it is women who are more at risk.

This all results in a more selective female and thus women will choose men based on strict criteria. According of OK cupid 80% of men on OK cupid are seen as unattractive in the female mind. These means that 80% of men will have a very hard time finding anyone to date them let alone marry. This also results in the upper 20% of men becoming a rare commodity in the eyes of women thus allowing these men to be more selective. On average, more selective men (men with more options) are less likely to settle down and instead play the field. Yes, there are exceptions but this is how most men will operate. This leaves many women without a stable partner and 80% of men without a partner at all. With the rise of technology, this will only make women more selective as dating apps make it easier to pick and choose. This can lead to a smaller proportion of men being datable and thus datable men having an even bigger insensitive to date around due to their higher and higher demand.

This trend does not have to be the end all be all however. While it goes against evolutionary thinking of most women, they need to stop having so many things on their list. Educated, steady job, good pay, tall, attractive, funny, and social; all of these things are a prerequisite in many women’s minds. It’s not so much how picky you are with a particular attributes that is causing this problem, it is more the number of things you are looking for. Having standards is good but knowing the standards that are most important to you is just as important. For example, many women insist on an educated man but most college graduates now are women. This discrepancy will leave millions of men and women without a partner. In general, men want one maybe two things in a partner. One example they may desire in a female is to be mildly attractive and kind. However, men also need to change. The upper 20% of men with many options, need to be able to recognize a good women when they see one and hold on to her even though there may be others available. Finally, the 80% of unattractive men can do a lot to change their situation. Women find a lot of things attractive in a man, many of which are stills or attributes that you can acquire. For example, becoming educated or having a steady job is very attractive in many women’s eyes.

Thanks for reading and let me know your views on dating. If you enjoyed reading don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe to my blog!  To subscribe just enter your email into the box on the upper right. I post every Sunday at 8 AM pacific standard time!


Letters to Help



Author: myletterstohelp@gmail.com

At my very core I am a student. At the present moment I am literally a student as I am attending graduate school to earn my PhD in organic chemistry. In second grade I got diagnosed with a learning disability and junior year of high school I got diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. I’m a Californian and I love it here.

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